So, an update on something I mentioned last week. I had applied for a job, had an interview, and I was waiting for an email to say if I got the job. Update – I didn’t. So, let me share all the emotions that went with that, as well as how I am taking steps and trusting God and that He has a plan in all of this.
Let’s start with monday
So, on Monday I decided to do a bit of a practice morning. I wanted to see what a day could look like if I got the job. So, I woke up at 5 AM, like I would if I was working a night shift. Usually during this time I would work an hour before the breakfast staff came in. Because I wasn’t working, I took the time to pray for friends and family. Then at 6, when I would be done with my night shift, I made myself a cup of coffee and did my devotions. This is when things started to shift.
Mindset Changing
All week I was confident that I was going to get the job. I was trusting God and praying for it. At this point I was confident that God was opening a new door for me and that I would be starting a new chapter in my work life. However, during my devotions Monday morning, I sensed God asking me a question. What if you don’t get the job? I contemplated this. This was something I really wanted and needed. My debt wasn’t getting lower due to interest, and I needed the extra income if I had a hope of getting out. But, I decided that I would trust God, no matter what happened, and told him so. I decided that whatever happened, God had a plan and it is for my good.
Trusting God Equals peace
As my devotion time continued I found myself experiencing this strange new peace. All year I’ve only experienced moments of relief from the stress of everything going on. This is the first time I actually experienced true peace and believed that no matter what, I was going to be okay. Philippians 4 verse 7 says, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This is what I believe I was finally experiencing. And it remained throughout the day, even though I was hopeful that I would still get the job.
I choose trusting god
The end of the day came and there had been a few people who asked me if I had heard anything. The answer was no, which meant I did not get the job. There were people who said I should call them, that they should have contacted me either way. As nice as that would have been, as a manager, I do not contact people to tell them they did not get the job. I only contact people to say they are hired. So, I wasn’t going to bother them when I knew the answer. I honestly thought I was going to cry, or feel the stress rise up again as I realised that my situation was not changing. The opposite happened. Instead of tears and stress, I was calm and still felt peace. I was, and still am, trusting God and that he has a plan for me. Sure, I don’t know what it is right now, but that’s okay.
Moving forward
My boss and I have chatted about how things can change to get me more hours, and more stable paychecks. She wants to see me conquer my debt. So, we discussed some ideas and now are in the process of putting them in place. I did my taxes and I’m getting a decent return, which I will also put towards my debt. Nobody said that trusting God was easy, or that everything that I want to happen will happen. However, experiencing this peace, rather than all the stress that led to many crying sessions, is worth it. Perhaps I’ll get a different job, or maybe my current one will start to get so busy that I’ll be too busy for a second job. Whatever the case, I’m trusting God and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for me.
hope in where i am
There is also hope with my writing. I’ve been told by quite a few people that I’m a great story teller and they think I should hurry up and publish. This is easier said than done because that costs money. I definitely need some of my debt to disappear before I pursue that avenue. On top of that, I’ve got these blogs and I’m hopeful that they will start to take off. I’m so close to getting paid, you guys. So close. Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me to all that have been here since the beginning. And for those just joining, welcome. Please feel free to send me your ideas for blogs I should write. Are there blogs that I have written that you would like to see more of? Less of? Let’s have a conversation and make this a wonderful community. I do want to figure out how to add a community page where we can all talk together. I know that anything can happen, if we try.
