ADHD – Living with it

Hello my friends. It’s a beautiful morning today. The sun is shining, the coffee is ready, and I knew what I wanted to write about in today’s blog. I’ve mentioned in the past that I suspect I have ADHD, but because I have not gone to a doctor for it, I can’t be sure. The more I talk to people, especially people who have been diagnosed with ADHD, the more certain I am. So, let me tell you a bit about how coming to this conclusion has affected my life.

Disclaimer

Before I jump in, just a few disclaimers. This blog is about how I am choosing to live with ADHD. I will be talking about not wanting to go on medication. That is MY personal preference. I am not against people taking medication to help them with their mental disorders. Everyone will deal with things in their own way. Secondly, what I am going to be trying may or may not work. In no way am I saying that I have found the answer to living with ADHD. I have not. This blog is simply to cover my journey and plan for dealing with it.

Saying No to Medication

Let’s just start with this one. I have been told by people that I should be medicated because it will improve my quality of life. Firstly, if you wanted to insult me, that’s the way to do it. Do I have all my ducks in a row? No, my life is not perfect and I have lots of struggles. However, I am able to function and being told that I need medication to do that is a slap in the face. Now, why do I not want ADHD medication? Well, for starters, you need a family doctor. I do not have a family doctor. I’m on a waiting list and it does not seem like I will find one any time soon. Secondly, the way I see it, I need medication to help me to remember to take my medication, but I won’t remember to take the medication to help me to remember to take my medication. It’s an ugly circle that I don’t want to deal with. Thirdly, I like my brain.

I Like my Brain

This one needed its own section, so let me elaborate on that phrase. I have a very imaginative mind. Ever since I was a child I could come up with all kinds of stories and imaginative play was my favourite. This is what sparked my passion for writing. I could always come up with some sort of story and I started writing stories at a young age. One of my biggest fears with taking medication is that I’ll lose that part of me. Many of my blogs are just off the top of my head, this one included. I have tried the whole sitting down and planning out what to write or planning a guideline for stories. My mind doesn’t work that way, and I love it. I’m just as much in the dark as everyone else.

I also love that I can think very child-like. This has helped me to connect with kids in children’s ministry. Sometimes even outside of church. Some of my friends’ children call me auntie because I have formed a special bond with them, even though I don’t see them regularly. I don’t want to lose that part of me either.

Understanding my Brain

Fortunately for us, we live in a world where information is at our fingertips. I can research symptoms of ADHD and compare it to myself and understand myself more. I had a friend point this out to me the other day. There are lots of things I think about myself in a negative way, but if I look online, I would see that it is actually because of ADHD. Understanding that I am not just lazy, for example, but that I struggle with motivation because of my ADHD, is a huge first step to helping me live with it. My financial struggles are also a symptom of ADHD. Now that I’m getting the knowledge, I can work on steps to work with it.

Living with ADHD

There is therapy that helps people with ADHD train their minds to get out of the bad habits. Of course, I can’t afford therapy, so I’m going to be doing this on my own, with support from friends and family. I know now that my brain struggles with finances, so I’m going to be sitting down with my mom next month to make a plan. Then, I’m going to come back with that plan and share it with my boss, who has been trying to help me as well. If I have accountability, and small steps, I can set myself up for success. Big steps overwhelm me, and I know that now. So, when I’m trying to make a plan for the week, each day will have to be small steps. Take this morning for example. Step 1 was making coffee. Step 2 was filling my sink with dishwater and soaking some of the dirtier dishes. The third step was writing my blog. See, small steps. And I can’t think of too many right off the bat, or I get overwhelmed.

Steps for Success

I can dream big, but when it comes to putting things into action, I need to go small. It’s the only way I can hope to succeed. Thankfully, I have some amazing people in my life who are in my corner and ready to support me. It’s also how I was able to start making my blogs more consistent, last week being a small hiccup in that. I am confident that I can work my way out of some of my bad spending habits, but I also know it will take time. Each day will be filled with small steps and goals. This week, for example, each day I aim to not order takeout. So, I have to take small steps around each meal time to make sure I do not order food. I do have some boards in my room to write down my goals and such, and they do help. Most of the time. In the mean time, I will continue to work at it and be thankful that I don’t have to do this alone. I can live with ADHD and be successful. After all, anything can happen if I try.