I’m sorry for the lack of blogging that’s been happening. It’s been over a week since my last one, I think. My brain has been here, there, and everywhere. I crave more time to just sit and turn off my brain for a little while. Which is no easy feat for me. But I have found that some distractions have just become too much and I’m overwhelmed by the enormity of some of the things in my life. So, grab a drink and a snack and let’s chat about some of the things.
Big Distractions
So, what has been keeping me from staying on track with everything? I would say the biggest distraction has been some of the games that I’ve been downloading on my phone. And most of the games have in game ads which advertise other games that intrigue me. Of course, if the game is not as advertised, I uninstall it immediately. But these games are helping me turn off my brain too much. Sure, some of them involve thinking to solve a puzzle or problem, but otherwise, I don’t have to think. They distract me from my debt, thinking about problems at work that I need to solve, and finance problems. However, that doesn’t help me in the long run.
Not the Only Media Distraction
My husband and I put in a lot of hours of work, and lots of it involves trying to solve problems. His is a lot more physical than my work, but at the end of the day we both just want to shut off. So we watch a lot of TV in the evenings. We are hoping to have some more bonfire nights as well, but those have been on pause. We are just exhausted and moving from our seats in front of the television is a real chore some evenings.
Necessary Distractions
Now, there are some distractions that I have that cannot be avoided. For example, I can’t tell my boss that I can’t work my shifts because I need to work on my blogs or my books. This would have two things against me – my boss would never go for it, and I need the money from that job to help pay for publishing my first book. As much as I wish I could fully work from home, I really cannot afford it at the moment. Maybe one day. Another distraction that I’m choosing to not ignore is a heavy one. My grandma is in the hospital with a brain tumor. We don’t know how long she has, but I want to spend as much time as I can with her in the mean time.
Stressful but Exciting
So, last week I spoke with my contact at the publishing company that is going to help me self publish my book. It was a great chat with a lot of questions being answered. But it also pointed out where I was being naive about some things regarding publishing a children’s book. To be clear, I knew it was going to cost a lot of money and having it almost all laid out for me really opened my eyes to how hard this was going to be. On top of that, finding out that the publishing process is a bit more time consuming than originally what I thought it was; it makes me nervous. And my timeline might be a bit too tight. Another reason I am worried about money.
Too Many Dreams?
Lately I have been reminded of another dream that has felt like I’ve shelved it. But it’s coming back in full heart-wrenching force. My desire to have a baby. It would take a full on miracle for me to get pregnant, and adoption feels so far out of reach. Lately I’ve been seeing so many babies and it hurts my heart to know that I might never get that. To be clear, I am not fully giving up on this dream. But maybe I might have to. My husband and I also wanted to buy a new house, but that seems equally impossible. It sucks, but I’m trying to hold onto the fact that one dream is coming true and I need to be thankful for that.
Pushing Through the Distractions
So, I have to keep going. Playing games on my phone is okay, but it should be a reward for accomplishing something. And all the other hopes I had for the summer might have to be on hold as well because they cost money. And right now, I need every dollar of my paychecks. At least the hotel is getting busier, so getting hours is a little easier. And more hours means higher paychecks. I wish I could win the lottery, enough to pay off my debt at least. But I suppose if I don’t buy a lotto ticket then I’ll never win. Maybe I should get one a month or something like that.
Keeping You Posted
I will continue to keep you all posted on my book progress, but I could use some help. To be clear, I am not the kind of person to go make a GoFundMe page and ask people for money. No, instead I’ll once again invite you to come to the Vendor Market at Roadhouse 52 Inn & Suites in Steinbach on Saturday, August 8th. It starts at 12pm and goes till 5pm. I’ll be one of the outside vendors selling baked desserts to raise money for my book. All proceeds of this sale will go towards the cost of illustrating and publishing. And if you can’t come, or afford it, prayers work too. I believe this is what God wants me to do, and I know he will help me. It just may not look like I expect. But in the meantime we can all remember that anything can happen if we try.
