I’m Dating!

Surprise! Well, for a lot of you that is. Some close friends and family have already known. It’s been a crazy journey so far, and in a way, it’s been years in the making. We just didn’t know it for the first few years. Even though I’m dating, my life is still chaotic. Let me tell you how things are going so far.

How it Began and we Didn’t Know

So, I’ve known this guy for a number of years. It was one of those friendships that was an instant connection. We clicked right away. Every time we saw each other we could chat for hours and usually laugh together a lot. But, neither of us thought anything deeper than that for a number of years. Dating each other was not an idea that ever passed between us. Well, seriously anyway. We joked that we would love to mess with people and go on a fake date a few times. However, as time went on, and we both contemplated our own singleness it hit us. We wanted to be in a relationship with someone just like the other person. And yet, we never considered each other.

Should we be Dating?

One day he came to me and said he needed to get something off his chest. He had been thinking about it and praying about it. After that he had talked to a friend and shared some thoughts and the friend finally just told him, “Ask her out already! You clearly like her.” He told his friend reasons why he didn’t think he should and his friend shot them down. So, he asked me out. Some of the concerns though had not been his alone. I had them too and I told him that I needed some time to consider this and pray about it. He agreed to wait. After some time, I actually told him no and he dropped it. For a bit anyway.

Reconsidering

He came to me again a few days later and told me that he had thought about some of the concerns, prayed about it, and asked me to reconsider. After he shared some of the reasons that he thought we should date, and addressed some of my concerns, I agreed to reconsider. I thought about it, and I thought about it for a long time. In fact, I think it was at least a week. I even sat down and talked with friends about the situation. And there were a lot of people who were praying for us. I’m sure they were praying for me to say yes because I did. The best yes I’ve ever said.

The Journey So Far

Now, as many of you know, my schedule is so hectic with work. It’s even a bit of a challenge to find time for my friends and family. Now I have to find time for my boyfriend. However, this is reason number one of why he’s fantastic. He understands that my life is chaotic. And he doesn’t expect me to drop everything for him. If there’s a week where I have a free day but I’ve made plans with a friend he tells me to have a great time. He doesn’t get upset that I didn’t fill it with him. He’s told me that he doesn’t want me pushing my friends aside for him. I’m certain that’s why he had their vote for us to date. When he knows I have a busy day he brings me coffee, or supper. Sometimes both.

Dating

And yes, we have gone on a few dates. In fact, the first one we went on actually was to CJ’s Hangout. I mean, get you a guy who takes you axe throwing and doesn’t feel like he needs to out do you. We’ve gone out for supper, had a bonfire. And even just drove around with no where to go and just each other and the radio for company. There was one time he had planned a date that I wasn’t excited about, but he thought I would like it. After a quick conversation he was quick to change the plan and we had a great time. He wasn’t insulted, or upset. My happiness is his goal. And honestly, I want to be a better person for him. He’s kind of great, you know?

Overcoming Obstacles

So, some of you are probably wondering what the concerns were. It all kind of boiled down to one thing. We have a twenty year age gap. He’s older. As I talked to others I was told of other very happy marriages where there was a larger age gap. Sure, there will be complications with such a gap, but we are both willing to work with it. As long as we truly care about each other, age is just a number. There are some people who are not thrilled about the notion, and that hurts because they mean a lot to me. But should I really put others’opinions before my heart? Or is this the one time I’m allowed to be selfish and not care. When I think about what I want in a boyfriend, a husband, age is the only thing he doesn’t check off. He meets all the other requirements.

Moving Forward

Hopefully the naysayers will change their minds as they see how happy I am. And hopefully with time they will come to support the relationship. As for me and my boyfriend, we’re having fun getting to know each other more. I smile a lot more around him and he certainly has gotten a pep in his step. He respects the boundaries I have put in place, spoils me when I tell him not to, and genuinely supports me. I know you’re reading this, babe. Thanks for everything so far and for everything you’re going to do. You’re the best. I’m dating and I am so happy right now. And it’s all thanks to Fern! He shows me that anything can happen, if you try.