Okay, I’ll be honest. I expected to be writing a book review today, but I didn’t quite finish my book. Maybe Saturday’s blog. As I scratched my head and tried to figure out what to write today it hit me. I’ve been working on my book again. Bad news for everyone hoping I’m publishing sooner. It’s not ready. Let me tell you about my first book struggles.
What Happened
I started reading through the book again and it hit me. My first chapter was way too long. In fact, as I read it, I found two places where I could break it up and start new chapters. But, I also don’t want my chapters to be too short. So, how do I find that balance. And I found a few editing/spelling mistakes while I went through the first two chapters. So, all this time of me thinking it’s not ready turned out to be true. Perhaps an author has a sixth sense about these things? Or maybe I’m just terrified.
First Book Fears
As you can probably imagine, the first publication is going to be the scariest for me. It will be the first time I’m putting something that I worked so hard on, out there into the world. Yes, I wrote a story on my blog, but compared to my first book, that was not nearly as daunting. Here are characters that I created, poured life into, a world I created for these characters. I poured my heart and soul into writing this book, and even now I’m still working on it. And there’s always that terrifying what if. What if nobody likes my book? Sure, I have friends who are impatiently waiting for their copy. But what about the rest? I won’t break even with sales just to my friends.
I’m Not Naive
Don’t worry. I’m not being naive. Obviously I know that I won’t sell hundreds with my first book. I’m not that popular. It takes time to grow an audience. To get my name out there. In fact, my first trilogy might only break even. My hope, however, is that it will sell enough to break ground and get me out there. I’m hoping that my first book, my first trilogy, will be loved by enough people. And then, when I write my series that I’m super excited about writing, it will blow up. As much as a small, local, beginner author can blow up. But, I have to be prepared for the fact that it won’t.
First Book Encouragement
As I have friends read it, or listen as I read it, I am encouraged. On days when I don’t believe in myself, they do. My friends are right there, pushing me to face my first book fears and keep working towards publication. In theory, I would love to publish early next year, but if I don’t publish when I want to, that’s okay. It takes time, and a whole lot of money, to get a book published. And while my brain is sitting there saying what if everyone hates it, my friends have a different view. What if people love it? They ask me what if there are people out there just dying to read my books, even though they don’t know it? What if I was born to do this? You can tell, I have some pretty amazing people in my life.
Keep Going
So, I’ll keep going. As I save money I’ll keep editing my first book as best as I can and hopefully make it easier when I have to pay an editor. I’ll keep struggling with the second book in the trilogy. You know what? I’ve heard that in trilogies the second book is usually the worst. I wonder – is it because even the authors don’t care about the second book and just want to get to the third? The excitement of bringing everything together, connecting dots, and putting together the “perfect” ending. The second book, while necessary, is a bit of an annoyance. Or is it just me? I know I need to find a way to get excited about my second book, or else no one will like it. So, take a deep breath, and let’s do this. After all, anything can happen if I try.
