So, today I want to again have a raw and honest moment with you all. I’m feeling really frustrated lately, mainly with myself. Poor choices in the past have left me in a bit of a bind and now I’m paying for it.
What happened?
Let’s go back in time for a bit here. I grew up in a single parent household. My mom did the absolute best that she could to raise three kids on her own. We always had what we needed; clothes, food, a roof over our head, and she also did her best to give us things we wanted as well. That’s not easy. My mom is my hero for doing that. However, because she was on her own, we were by no means rich. There were lots of things I wanted to do that we just couldn’t afford. So, after I got my first job, I spent money on all the things I wanted. No restraint. This has not really left me, years later.
Unhealthy spending
No restraint on spending meant if I believed I could afford it, I got it. After moving out on my own, my money tightened a bit as I now had bills and other responsibilities. So, I got my first credit card to help. Another mistake. I would use the credit card on everything, and not really pay it off. Sure, I put money towards it, but never fully paid the cards off. This continued over the next few years and then I found an opportunity to go work in New Zealand for a year. I was so excited as the pieces started to fall into place, but I made a grave mistake. I jumped in too fast, didn’t save money for the trip, and I didn’t pay off my credit card debt. Then I had the nerve to get frustrated that I didn’t have money to do a lot in New Zealand.
I’m not done yet
I came back from New Zealand and started working again, trying to pay off some of the debt I had. Yes, I made some money out in New Zealand, but it was not a lot, and I never put any towards my credit card debt. When I came back, I got another credit card, and I fell in love with NHL hockey. Money went towards tickets to games and collecting jerseys. Now, the one thing I will throw out there, not all my money went towards me. I would pay for meals for friends, buy gifts that I couldn’t always afford, and I always paid for all the tickets to the games, never asking for money back. Most recently, I paid to get eye laser surgery. I do not regret getting the surgery; I do regret that I didn’t pay off my debt first. Someone close to me cosigned a loan to pay off all my debt, so now I only had one instead of multiple debts. However, before we knew it, I was neck deep again.
Time to change
I think my biggest wake up call came just last week. My roommate moved out and the gravity of how much it will cost to pay everything hit me like a freight train. I broke down, crying and I just wanted to scream. I was so frustrated with myself. Why did I let it get so bad? So, now it is time to make some changes. Once my lease is up, my boss is letting me live at the hotel. I’ll be covering three night shifts a week, on top of working other shifts. Instead of paying for the room, the night shifts will pay for that. So, now I won’t be paying rent, hydro, water, internet, or anything like that. My bills will be my debt and phone bill, as well as things like gas for the vehicle, groceries, and cat supplies. This should help me pay off my debt a lot faster. It is only temporary, we are thinking six months will be the max before I find my own place again.
Getting frustrated doesn’t help
I’ve gotten frustrated with certain situations in the past. For a while, some of you will remember, I was thinking of getting a second job. I suppose, in a sense, I did when I started blogging. No, I still have not received a paycheck, but I’m so close. That’s all thanks to you, so thank you. I know I need to start being smart with my money. Yes, it’s great to go out and enjoy things in life, such as going to hockey games, or the movies, or travelling. I still plan to do these things, but from now on, I’m going to make sure I’m smarter about it and have the money before I do those things. Plus, if I blog about it, I can potentially make money, so that’s a win as well. Frustration hasn’t helped, so it is time to put a plan in place and follow it.
Accountability
I truly believe in the power of accountability. I have a group of friends that hold me accountable to reach my weekly goals. I’m going to start making goals that will help me make better decisions. I’m done with being frustrated and not doing anything about it. As accountability, I’m going to try and blog about my journey of learning how to manage my money better. I won’t tell you numbers, as that’s not appropriate. However, I’ll let you know everything I have to pay off. My eye surgery (I did a payment plan and this was after the loan), my mastercard, visa, line of credit and my loan. These are the debts that I’m looking at and I can tell you, they are all really high. So, wish me luck as I work towards paying this all off and saving up for some fun adventures to blog about. After all, anything can happen if I try.
